With all the things that I do, I really don’t feel like I do many that are only for me and my enjoyment. I spend a lot more time than I would like (I’m working on ending this) doing this that I HAVE to do or have committed to do on behalf of an organization. The things that I really I want to do or would like to do (reading a book or getting a pedicure for example), I don’t get a chance to do.
I told my husband that I edit about 60% of the things that I want/am supposed to do. A perfect example is today. I was supposed to get my hair done but I ended up not making it and doing my hair myself. I edited it myself because I had 5 other things that I HAD to do and I am totally guilty of not making myself of priority.
As I write this out, I admit I’m a little disappointed with myself because if I haven’t made myself a priority. It’s really not a new thing because I’ve spent a lifetime of helping other people (I’m an oldest child of divorced parents) and making sure they had what they needed. My husband is great about telling me not to edit my life and do what I want/need but somehow he doesn’t get the memo that I need an extra four hours in each day to get everything else done so I have the time to do what I want/need. It just gets lost in translation that when I go out and call home to check in, I’m editing myself right there because I stopped making it about me and had to move back into mommy-mode, even though he’s perfectly capable to handling our two boys.
So along with my fearlessness this year, I’m going to stop editing. If I’m committing to do it for ME, I’m going to make that just as important as anything else I’m doing. I’m going to start that tomorrow as soon as I get my family situated with dinner because I’m going out tonight.